brain mush

-I know im speaking very generally but the bottom line is we're all walking talking contradictions, in our thoughts, and in our actions, and if you deny this then you're lying to yourself. Uncertaintanty in this world forces mistakes, and the only thing constant is inconsistancy so if you think that you're somehow above this you should re-analize the situation. I think that once you realize this you will be able to let off alot of uneeded worry and stress. I'm no saying that uncertainty is comforting but the realization that uncertainty is the only undeniable fact of life has helped me find more joy in life.

I posted this blog almost exactly a year ago. i was much wiser back then. I have forgotten what i know to be true. Now i realize why i've been unhappy lately. I'm sabatoging my self by acting against my core beliefs. I know life is uncontrollable so why am i acting like it is.

THe bottom line is that i've been torn. By all of these gosh darn expectations. Not just from others but from myself. I have moved opened a new door in my life and now i'm feeling all of the anxst that comes with it. But i shouldn't, I really shouldn't. Expectations are created in our head, they are completely fabricated. I'm not saying that i shouldn't work hard and save money for our future and all of that, i'm just saying that my outlook needs to change. I need to rethink my reactions that lead to my emotions that lead to this unsettling feeling of anxiety that is completely unnecessary.

limbo

I will not feel inadequate
I will not feel lonely
I will not feel anxious
I will not feel stagnant
I will not feel scared
I will not let FALSE perceptions impair my personal self image, and personal world image.

I will help others grow
I will help Ari grow
I will realize that I can't control my own fate
I will take this knowledge and enjoy life for what it is and not for what i want it to be
i will have a more positive outlook on life
I will write more
I will play more.

I will be more honest
I will be more trust worthy
I will be more curious
I will realize how much i have overcome and use that knowledge to be stronger
I will not blame others
I will realize that i can be happy anywhere in the world, including utah
I will boost others morale
I will enjoy you more because you are my love
I will tell you that you are lovely more because you are lovely..

you are the personification of everything i want in life.

I feel better already

Drug companies own our souls.

"advertising prescription drugs directly to patients in the European Union is illegal" -http://blog.newspaperindex.com/

What the hell is wrong with the united states??
The average citizen is being played by big pharma companies. How come it's illegal for cigaretts to advertise on tv but not xanex?